Tag Archives: Obama

Here’s What Happened in Obama’s Speech Tonight

25 Jul

In a nutshell, Obama said that America is days away from reaching into its pockets and only coming up with lint.  He said it slightly better than that, but not quite as eloquently as Eric B. & Rakim did in 1987’s brilliant “Paid in Full.”

Oh, and it’s all the Republicans’ fault for playing politics.

And then Speaker of the House John Boehner said that he used to own a small business in Ohio and tried to hypnotize American citizens with his blue eyes.

Then Master Chef came on and I worried that suddenly the eggs benedict crisis might take precedence.

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My President is Black, My Lampost’s Blue

21 Jan

Last night I dreamed that my mother called me, crying, asking if I heard the news.  She told me the President had been shot.  I kept saying, “But why would anyone want Cheney to be President?”

I knew it was a dream, but it was still upsetting.  It wasn’t till a couple of hours after I was awake that I realized they would have shot Obama, not Bush.  I’m not living in the past, but I am apparently spending my nights there.

Anyway, how could I forget my President is Black??  I mean, really.  I used that Young Jeezy song in a commercial (yeah, I know…).  It was tricky getting all the different writers on board and because we were in such a rush, I took matters into my own hands and tracked them down myself.  They were super nice.  Especially when I said to one of the them, “Hey…I have a question.  What does ‘My lampost’s blue’ mean?'”  Dead silence.  More dead silence.   I had never seen the video.  I had no idea it was ‘My Lambo’s blue.’  Out of all the many people I know, not one of them would ever use ‘Lamborghini’ in a sentence, much less ‘Lambo.’  I was kind of mortified when he corrected me.

Download it and tell me it doesn’t sound like lampost!  And also, let’s just get one thing straight:  I don’t really care what color my President is, much less a Lambo, but I do want my President to be alive. K?

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