XXX Marks the Spot

21 May

I almost never plan what I’m going to write about or what song to post in advance of the day, but today, May 21st, is an exception.  May 21st is a very important date for me.  It was the date, way back when, when I met the most perfect boy in the world.  It’s also the birthday of the very talented Rebecca Moore (more on her in a subsequent post!).  But neither of these super important events have anything to do with today’s song.

There’s someone else in my life with a birthday today, a friend named Anonymous Gentleman.  If you met him, you might think he’s just a regular guy.  But barely hidden beneath his meat-and-potatoes exterior is the dirtiest mind you’ve ever come across.  The stuff that comes out of his mouth would make even the brashest teenage boy blush.  We can be talking about the most mundane thing and somehow he manages to get a sexual reference in there.  Not even innuendo mind you, but full-on raunch.   So I knew months ago that today I would post the spiciest song I could think of and dedicate it just to him.

Although I threatened to expose his real name here (and even more importantly mock his website name and philosophy behind said url), I was only teasing.  I would never really ‘out’ him.  No, Anonymous Gentleman has way too much stuff on me.   I mean, when I come out to the world as a huge Debbie Gibson fan, I want to do it myself, not because I’m responding to some allegation somewhere.  Oh &*%$!  Well, I guess that’s out there.  It’s true.  I AM a huge fan of the Gibber but that too is the subject for another post.

Back to hardcore…

Anonymous Gentleman, Happy Birthday.  I hope that both you and other tourists of Margauxxxville enjoy Lil’ Kim’s “Big Momma Thang.” I think you will.  It’s not only right up your, um, alley, but it also has a great hook that’ll stick around for a long time.  I’ve often thought you might have written these lyrics, as I can’t imagine you didn’t.  So dirty, so you.

And thank you, A.G., for having your birthday on a Saturday, very considerate.   This song is definitely NSFW.

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